"Automated Teller Migrants"
by Bucktowndusty
America should immediately replace all of its existing ATM machines with illegal immigrants! We will call these new machines "Automated Teller Migrants". Let's face facts: Illegal immigrants are already on just about every street corner in America, looking for
work that legal Americans allegedly won't do. Why not take advantage of this situation.
At each ATM location, an illegal alien would sit behind a foldout table with a jar full of money, and a bilingual sign explaining how the new setup works. Transactions won't be documented or recorded, because it's common knowledge that documentation isn't important and everyone's sure to follow the honor system. Next to each Automated Teller Migrant would be a security guard (a previously displaced blue-collar worker who lost his job to an illegal migrant). The security guard would double as a translator to the English-speaking customers for those awkward situations in which customer questions are greeted by inaudible grunts produced by the new ATMs who don't speak English.
Pros:
- The unemployment rate would drop.
- Transaction fees would fall to 25 cents each, since the new ATMs are getting only 10 cents per hour.
- Banks would incur little installation charges or increases in plant and equipment expenses, since the illegal aliens are already onsite.
- Maintenance fees would decrease, since illegal aliens work, no matter what. Maybe the old ATMs always say "temporarily out of order" because they simply don't want to work as hard as an illegal immigrant would.
Cons:
- Attempts to reprogram the new ATMs to understand English have failed. So too have the attempts by banks to pay third-world wages to the necessary security guard/translators. Therefore, banks will incur an unwanted but necessary expense to fill the security guard/translator positions.
Pro-massive immigration pundits have given the American public a guarantee that illegal immigrants are essential to our economy, so it's time for banks to prove it.
Do you AGREE or DISAGREE with me? Let me know! |
"Political Lies"
by A. Hamilton
Do you wonder why you can't seem to get politicians to do anything about curbing mass immigration? Here's why.
Politicians have two opposing views, one from the political left and one from the right. They blast into obscurity issues that are sometimes not issues at all and certainly unrecognizably as truisms. The two teams epitomize our elective officials, two sets with an
overdose of toxic, party loyalty to a point at which their thesaurus-spin on issues can almost be called "lies".
Political lies are not easy to recognize. They are covert, disguised, painted a pleasing color, soothingly tuned, and tasteful to the selfish buds of at least half their constituency. Some of the physical attributes are more revealing.
Lying is a moldable art form, a formidable tango in the everyday two-step of politics. A political lie often embodies human form with a taught, black bandana about the forehead, having no eyes, no ears and multiple mouths that circumambient, each with forked,
snakelike tongues. The political lie has no neck. Instead, its arms radiate from the base of the head with octopi tentacles that suck the life from truth.
Do you AGREE or DISAGREE with me? Let me know! |
