Easter As I Remember It

Two thousand eight years ago, when global warming didn't exist, evil white men murdered a bi-lingual, gay bunny rabbit who, with the help of migrant workers, laid multi-colored, multi-culturally-pleasing chocolate eggs that were traded freely around the globe using bio-fueled tankers.

When social workers checked the bunny rabbit's cage after the murder, the door was ajar, the bunny was gone, and it was then that they knew the bunny was the spokesperson of Gaia – of no specific denomination, race, sex, or creed – as not to offend nonbelievers and bunny killers, of course.

From that day forth, authorities of the state mandated that everyone was to eat chocolate eggs, and vote Democrat.

This is how I remember Easter from my public school teachings.

In my 20 years of attending public schools, I never remember any of my teachers making any derogatory statements hinting that Easter was about someone named Jesus.

Had I heard any of my teachers making offensive statements like this, I would have quit public school faster than Barack Obama binging and purging a chocolate Jesus freak.

Anchor Baby And A Ducked-up Duck?

There's a restaurant on the shore of the Chesapeake Bay where patrons can feed the ducks that reside on a small patch of sandy beach just outside the entrance.

At first, ducks arrived from all parts of the Bay in varying denominations of color and species. I'm not a member of M.R. Ducks Society, but I can recognize drakes, geese, swans, sea gulls and most of all, Easter ducks when I see them.

In the past, defenseless Easter ducks, in shades of purple, pink, red and green, have been discarded on this small patch of sandy beach. Other ducks took advantage of the Easter ducks and soon the small beach became over populated with ducks of no fixed address or breed, most of which can neither swim nor fly. Instead, they just walk on the beach dragging one wing that resembles that of a drake, scribing a line in the sand with the other wing flung across its back that looks like a spicy buffalo wing. Of course the mixed parents of the Easter ducks have since flown the coup, leaving genetically ducked-up ducks to explain their existence.

Speaking of ducked-up ducks;

This week Hilary Clinton was heard to say, Et tu Richardson?

Now, I don't care one turd's worth for the profiteering Clintons, but Bill, Brutus - Judas Richardson sucked on Bill Clinton for years anytime he could get a lick in edge-wise. The Clintons carried him to his highest heights. And what did they get in return?

This week Governor of New Mexico, Brutus - Judas Richardson, endorsed Obama for less than 30 pieces of silver. In his long, drawn-out, Obama sucking, introduction speech in Oregon, Brutus - Judas Richardson declared Obama to be the messiah of race relations and the healer of all ills in America.

Here's a news flash for Bill, Brutus - Judas Richardson and Obama; The white and black races were becoming very harmonious before Obama and his show-boating America hating, racist minister came into the picture and Democrats started fighting over which of them was the biggest racist.

He went on to say Obama transcended race and would create dialogue that would solve all racial problems.

In reality, Obama's mama and daddy transcended race, but they soon flew the coup as did the drakes, geese, swans and sea gulls leaving a ducked-up Easter duck who just talks on the beach dragging one wing that resembles that of a drake, scribing a line in the sand with the other wing flung across its back that looks like a spicy buffalo wing.

One other note:

Brutus - Judas Richardson's mama, Maria Luisa Lopex-Collada Marques was born in Mexico and when she was ready to give birth to Brutus - Judas Richardson, she flew to California to insure that Brutus - Judas Richardson would be an American citizen; Albeit, his daddy was an American Banker who also lived in Mexico City.