Dear Santa
by Bucktowndusty
Dear Santa,
I would like several lumps of coal for Christmas to give to people I know that have been bad.
Sincerely,
Little Joey
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Dear Litle Joey,
I'm in the business of rewarding good behavior. I'll forward your request to someone with a bleaker outlook on things.
Sincerely,
Santa
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Dear Little Joey,
I can not grant your wish to provide coal to those that have been bad as coal pollutes the earth. I can however send you some carbon credits to remind those evil people how their actions cause global warming and destroy the earth.
Sincerely,
Al Gore
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Dear Al Gore,
Please send me the address where you and your leer jet will be on Christmas as you're one of the people on my list.
Sincerely,
Little Joey
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President Of The Month Club
by A. Hamilton
Senator Barack Osama Obama (Or as I have heard him referred to as, ole purple lips), accentuates the second and last words in each sentence. When I hear him speak I think of a Barker, or Pitchman who says, "I tell you what I’m gonna do." Of course, that's not a valid reason to skip his name on the ballot.
I wouldn't vote for Obama, at this time, mainly because of his lack of leadership experience. Oh! And also, I think he lacks nuts enough to stand up to a world full of screw balls like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, a nut who has tons of nuts of his own - all in his head.
However, Oprah Gail Winfrey appears not to agree with that assessment as she has endorsed Obama to be the savior of Democracy and the cure-all healer for the ills of America.
INDORSED!! Most endorsers just open the bathroom stall door, announce who they endorse and then go about finishing their business, but Oprah's endorsement of Obama cast Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey and the Flying Wallendas to a dulled shame. What a "You go girlfriend" bash that was.
Even so, Oprah’s overbearing, giddy show of support for Obama hasn't altered my opinion of him, nor has it changed my trivial opinion of her.
I've seen Oprah a few times on her TV show while speed clicking my remote control. I surmised, in a fleeting glance, that she was the famed and powerful, soft spoken, literary High Priestess of Bookdom, sitting in her puffy royal chair, and who could, (it's rumored) with the stroke of her diamond-tipped wand turn a turnip into a Mercedes and a derelict into Rupert Murdoch.
Fearful of this, I was relieved and gave thanks when she announced, at the first gala, "I'm not telling you who to vote for." It gave me a Gail Chavez of Venezuela moment.
There are those who say that it would be a trembling experience to suggest that a racial motive was involved in Oprah's support of Obama. I say to them, "Go shit in your sombrero."
The topic of race is naturally part of her motive simply because Obama is somewhat black and Oprah is black. And don't forget, Oprah has spent millions building a segregated school in South Africa, proof that she cares about and wants to further the welfare of her race. So what? Barbara Streisand endorsed Hillary Clinton and next to Oprah and Obama these two stand out like 100 watt light bulbs.
Another thing that makes Oprah's judgment somewhat wobbly is when referring to Obama she said, "Experience doesn’t matter." She can't possibly mean that. I don't know about you, but I'd like to believe that the guy piloting the next jet I fly on isn’t the Red Cap at the airport.
In the end, I hope Obama beats the pear-shaped pant suit off Hillary Clinton. If he does and goes on to become President then I'll support him. However, I would have felt much better if Oprah would have convinced and endorsed Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to get into the race, as I believe that Condi would be the best President this country could ever hope for.
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