On This Veterans’ Day
by Bucktowndusty
I'd like to thank Bill Clinton for making it possible for Communist China to acquire missile guidance technology that's allowed them to perfect their long range nuclear rockets.
I'm especially grateful that, thanks to Bill Clinton, the Communist Chinese can now destroy U.S. military satellites in outer space.
I'd like to thank all those bottom-line businesses that outsource to Communist China allowing them to fund their every growing military machine, which includes missiles that carry long range nuclear payloads that can destroy U.S. military satellites in outer space.
I'd like to thank stores like Wal-Mart that stock their stores with 80% of their product from Communist China making it impossible for American manufacturing to compete, thus forcing them out of business, thus forcing America to need further outsourcing to manufacture stuff we once did, thus increasing the financial might of Communist China that can now buy more missiles that can destroy U.S. military satellites in outer space.
And I'd like to thank all the liberal education bureaucrats that raise generation after generation of nitwits that go on to man U.S. military sonar posts on U.S. military ships and fail to notice Communist Chinese nuclear submarines popping up right in the middle of U.S. navel operations, thus allowing them to kill more of our soldiers if they choose.
Veterans of this proud country are Bely Ploud of you Plicks.
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Medals Of Honor
by A. Hamilton
I knew turning 18-years-old meant registering for the draft, a prelude to fulfilling my obligatory, patriotic duty to serve my country in the military. Receiving a draft card was also a rite-of-passage which I manly celebrated by ordering a beer in a restaurant for the first time.
As anticipated, I received that "Greetings" letter from President Kennedy and was drafted into the Army in 1961. I reported, without question, to a military installation and proudly took an oath to protect the United States of America from enemies foreign and domestic. In doing so I accepted the fact that I might have to pay the ultimate price for my patriotism.
However, being killed in combat didn't bother me as much as the thought of having someone identify my dead body by putting my dog tags (with that mysterious notch in them) between the teeth of my upper and lower jaws and slamming my mouth shut. I'd rather my head be blown off.
Thankfully, neither happened, as I fulfilled my sworn duty to my country and was released with a document declaring that I had served with, "Honor."
Disappointedly, honor and patriotism were put to the test this week as a "fair and balanced" cable news station asked middle and high school students if they knew the meaning of patriotism and if the students felt they owed their country anything. Sadly, most of them couldn’t give a definition of patriotism and one even protested, "I don't owe this country a damn thing." Nice language for a snot-nosed, bicep-challenged shit head who looked to be a junior in high school and who gives credence to abortion on demand.
I was so discouraged by these students' attitudes that I had to search for a pick-me-up in my box of important documents. Here, I found my Honorable Discharge certificate along with my set of dog tags. My dog tags (even with that mysterious notch in them) are symbolic of my patriotism and now adorn me as Metals of Honor.
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