Nothing would be more appropriate for a man of such noble character as Ahmadinejad than to walk upon liberally strewn rose peddles on his way to Columbia University and Ground Zero.

On second thought, pages plucked and passionately placed from The New York Times by its remaining readers would be even more suitable for such a decent dignitary.

Of course liberals view the pages of The New York Times as pleasurably as rose peddles, while conservatives view them as a perfect instrument for both a genocidal madman to wipe his shoes off with, and for his fawners to use as pooper-scoopers after Ahmadinejad shits on the memories of our fallen countrymen just by him being here.

Is MoveOn.org paying for Ahmadinejad's trip using the money they saved on their full page New York Time's ad? Will they ensure he has something objective to read on his flight?

Speaking of flights, I thought our President had the authority to regulate who does and doesn't get to enter our country. Considering how much of an open borders vigilante George W. Bush is, it doesn't surprise me that he doesn't send F-16s to force Ahmadinejad's jet to reverse course or be destroyed, instead of deflecting his responsibility upon the whims of sanctuary-city officials.

Last time I checked, The United Nations doesn't have its own airport and highway leading to the United Nations building, so Ahmadinejad would be setting foot on sovereign territory. And since sovereignty is a federal matter, Ahmadinejad should rightly be denied access by our federal government.

Then there's the liberal college that wants Ahmadinejad to visit. Columbia University is just one of many liberal institutions that fails to see the folly in its intentions. They want to teach their students the value of dissent, but most of the liberal students there don't even know enough about America's history to know what they are dissenting from.

I say send everyone to Iran who thinks it's a good idea for Ahmadinejad to visit America. See how long it takes living amongst the likes of Ahmadinejad for them to beg, not request, a return visit home.

As for Ahmadinejad, the only scenario I view worthy enough of having Ahmadinejad and roses in the same location is his funeral.

As for The New York Times, the only scenario I view worthy enough of using it, is wrapping fish.

As for Columbia University, Fuck them! How's that for dissent!