Barack Obama – Black Hawk Down
by Bucktowndusty
Question: What do you call a chicken in a hawk suit?
Answer: Barack Obama.
Barack-The-Chicken said he would rule out using atomic weapons in any circumstance. Barack-The-Hawk stated he would send U.S. troops into Pakistan, an ally with nuclear weapons, to kill Osama Bin Laden. Barack's fall from grace over these nit-witted comments will afford him the much needed chance in obscurity to take off his suit and settle multiple personality disputes.
To be fair, Obama didn't invent the chicken hawk suit. He borrowed it from others.
In 1991 Bill Clinton put the suit on to intervene in the Yugoslavian breakup. Without memory of Abraham Lincoln, Clinton declared the Serbs – the ethnic group which thought succession was a bad idea – an evil people simply because they were the whitest of the ethnic self interest groups. Yet, Clinton only allowed our planes to fly bombing runs above 10,000 feet during the conflict, because his chicken side didn't want any soldiers to die while, well, soldering. His chicken clucking even got some of our forces captured because they didn't give them bullets for their guns while on patrol. Guns don't kill, bullets kill, right Bill?
In 1992 Bill Clinton masterfully clucked his way through another conflict, this time in Somalia. 300,000 people died of starvation under the boot of Islamic warlord, Mohamed Farrah Aidid. Clinton-The-Hawk approved 20,000 U.S. troops going into Somalia to restore order. However, Clinton-The-Chicken sent them home in 1993, and sure enough Aidid declared war on the remaining U.N. troops and killed 24 Pakistani soldiers (they probably didn’t have bullets either). Clinton-The-Hawk sent in Delta Force, Army Rangers and the 160th SOAR unit to take Aidid out. 19 of our soldiers died trying, so Clinton-The-Chicken took over again and high-tailed our troops out of Africa once more.
In the lead up to the 2004 elections, John Kerry put on the suit. Kerry-The-Hawk voted for war funding. Kerry-The-Chicken actually voted against the same funding his hawkish self voted for.
Kerry-The-Hawk said he would have intervened in the Haiti/Aristide conflict. This in turn caused 50 deaths in Haitian unrest. Simultaneously, Kerry-The-Chicken said he would not intervene in Iraq.
Sadly, it's very hot, sticky, and twisted inside the chicken hawk suit. Barack Obama will merely be the latest in a list of liberals to succumb to the predictable heat. Ironically, side effects to wearing the suit are clearly listed on the warning label sowed into the suit. The only problem is that the label was sown into the crotch area, so anybody without balls is highly unlikely to look there.
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Being Jerked Off By Secretary Jerktoff
by A. Hamilton
"We the people of the United States…." Well, you know the rest, but apparently, in regards to illegal immigration, the Bush Administration thinks of it as, "We the people of the United States ARE STUPID." (You know, we the people, who only asked for BORDER SECURITY.)
In a vindictive rage to get even with Congress for not passing legislation for "comprehensive" immigration reform, Secretary Chertoff of HLS spitefully announced:
"So let me lay out what the path is for those people who receive no-match letters. (Speaking of social security identification) Within 30 days of getting a no-match letter, businesses should check their records to make sure the discrepancy isn't simply a clerical or administrative error; somebody mistyped a named or mistyped a number. If that is not the source of the problem, the employer then has to bring the employee in and ask the employee to confirm the accuracy of the information and, if necessary, contact the Social Security Administration to correct the problem.
As I say, in some cases, that will be an update to a marital status or something of that sort, and the problem will be corrected. And by the way, the good news there is that it will eliminate a problem down the line if the employee ever seeks to actually receive some of their rightful Social Security benefits.
But if the problem cannot be resolved within 90 days, then either the employee has to come forth with some new reliable evidence that they are authorized to work, like a passport, or if work eligibility cannot be confirmed after 90 days, the company is going to have to terminate the employee.
In other words, receiving a no-match letter puts the company on notice that there is a discrepancy or a problem with the records pertaining to a particular employee. What the company may not do is simply ignore the problem. And if the company does nothing to resolve the problem or doesn't act in good faith, that company can be held liable for employing an unauthorized worker and could face stiff penalties or sanctions."
At no time in his babble does he mention any penalty for the illegal immigrant.
First of all, the employer gets thirty days to check the legality of the person that's hired. Then, after he gets the feared "no match" letter, he has 90 more days to correct the condition.
Holly shit! That’s a total of 120 days. By that time all the strawberries will have been picked, all the "Jobs that Americans won’t do" will have been completed and the illegal immigrant will have moved on. Even so, the illegal can replace the stolen or forged social security card with another stolen or forged social security card and continued working at the same place with little or no paper work for the employer.
Finally, all employers in the United States will have to check all of their employees for legality. If not, they are going to have to profile the hell out of Hispanic-looking employees.
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