Junior Varsity Democrats
by Bucktowndusty
I remember playing basketball and having a jealous 2nd-stringer on my team not pass me the ball when we played together. Doing so, you see, would only have allowed me to score more points and get more headlines in the local paper. So, to the detriment of the whole team, I scored fewer points when this stringer came in, due to all the open shots I never took. The liberal Democrats of today remind me of this ghost of stringers past.
As far as class and couth go during this time of world terror, liberal Democrats are conniving, treacherous 2nd-stringers with identity issues. They concern themselves with nothing other than self promotion.
America is playing in a heated contest of existence against world terrorists right now. The terrorists have scored first, putting 3000-plus points on the board. The Republican coach has responded by putting his best shooters on the floor and putting America ahead on points once again.
Liberal, Democrat 2nd-stringers eagerly suited up for battle at first; as soon as they realized the American crowd demanded victory that is. But, as the game went on, and as cheers for the Republican stars grew, liberal Democrat resentment, jealousy, and team disloyalty festered exponentially.
Instead of letting the coach-in-chief concentrate on the floor, the Democrats kept pulling on his shirt tale, complaining about his coaching methods. They went so far as to go into the stands and convince people to throw egg at the coach. Since they had control of the media score board, every time America would score, Democrats would award points to the terrorist squad instead. Democrats kept trying to call time out, too, so they could petition for the coach-in-chief’s termination.
Further, Democrats no longer felt basketball, or winning for that matter, was a worthy endeavor, as competition emits toxic testosterone, and victory would create losers amongst the terrorist squad. Like American Indian mascot conflicts of the past, they felt “terrorist” was an unfair designation anyway. “Three cheers for the resistance fighter underdogs,” they shout.
The liberal Democratic message is clear; winning is bad, America sucks, and George Bush is evil.
They no longer believe in the country they represent. As voters, Americans need to vote in 2008 and beyond for representatives that actually believe in the name printed on their jerseys, and demote liberal Democrats down to the JV squad of history’s dustbin.
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Butt Opinions
by A. Hamilton
High above the coastline of Somalia, a United States Air Force C-130 gunship banked in a wide turn and from its lowered side fired a devastating burst of fire power at a target on the ground, miles away.
The target was the hide-out of the al-Qaeda terrorist leaders who planned the embassy bombings when Clinton was in the White House and who occupied Somalia when Clinton gave the order for our troops to, “Cut and run,” from there. Of course, Clinton did nothing about these or any of the atrocities committed against the United States when his chicken butt was in office.
This time the terrorists were in the right place at the wrong time and the C-130 shredded their sand-flea-bitten asses.
The big question is; how did President Bush pull this mission off without the advice of Polisi, Murtha, McCain or Reed?
I mean – they seem to know all and voice their opinions about everything else that is going on with the war against terrorism. They have opinions about how many troops, where to put the troops and which way our troops should run when we give up. Yet, they knew nothing about the C-130 mission in Somalia. This leads me to believe that there is a lot they don’t know about the war on terrorism.
It’s my opinion, of course, that if they kept their opinions to themselves, then the war is Iraq would have been over months ago.
But there’s an ancient Aztec saying that goes like this; “Opinions are like ass holes, everyone’s got one.”
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