The Undocumented Party of 2006
by Bucktowndusty
Seconds after the Democrats routed the Republicans, and Nancy Pelosi applied her Lee-Press-On-Nail, bipartisan veneer, the liberal press apparatus scurried out to proclaim how the youth, Latino, un-decided, liberal, and anti-war vote was responsible. “The mainstream has shifted left,” they shouted. The Republican press apparatus scurried out to write how if only those Iraqis had embraced a multicultural Democracy and lived civilized like proper Englishmen do, they’d still be in control. Yet, voter turnout numbers reveal that both parties are deaf, dumb, and blind losers who are oblivious to the story behind the numbers.
Only 40% of eligible voters decided that choosing to vote for either party was worthy. Democrats received, say, 65% of that 40%, which translates to a dismal 26% of the potential voting pool. Republicans therefore received only 14%. I received numbers like these on several college exams, but I never had any press conferences where I called my parents to say how a potential 8-year college graduation plan was a good thing.
These percentages alone should make each party scurry under a rock in shame. And, what’s included in the compilation of eligible voter numbers is even more shameful.
The Census Bureau includes non-citizens in their citizen-voting-age-population turnout rates. As the number of illegal aliens living in America increases, the voter turnout rate will only get worse – i.e., less representative of the true demographic reality waging within America’s borders. Keep in mind, too, that illegal aliens are counted towards the total population when the census determines how many seats in the House of Representatives each state will receive. That’s scary enough by itself, and if both parties continue to leave our borders wide open, it will only get scarier.
The election results of 2006 were in fact a last chance wake-up-call to American politicians. Traditionalist values triumphed in various referendums that passed. These referendums didn’t carry the “R for Republican” or “D for Democrat” crutch next to them. They were issue-only decisions and voters from both sides embraced them. Republicans who failed to live by these standards felt the effects. Democrats who acted as though they did enjoyed the rewards.
But, make no mistake. Americans, by a whopping 60%, feel alien to their own government and have decided that it’s already too late for their representatives to ACT traditional to get them to the polls. And, a whopping 10% of the population is alien, LITERALLY, so this doesn’t translate well towards a continued prosperous, homogeneous, and representative superpower status.
Sadly, (and think about this deeply) the real winners and losers of the 2006 elections were the undocumented.
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Don't Mess With "It"
by A. Hamilton
For the life of me I can't figure out where God was last Tuesday, November 7th, 2006, when Democrats won control of the House of Representatives and the Senate. For sure, God must have heard the constant Bush-bashing, deceitful lies and bullshit the Democrats have been searing the minds of their constituents with for the past six years, and I know he doesn't like it very much, but still, he didn't intercede. This makes me wonder if Got (be it he or she) really has anything to do with who or what we are at this point in time and space.
I'll try to explain, but for the purpose of not offending anyone and for fear of not being politically correct, I'll refer to God as "It".
In the beginning (long before 11/7/06), "It" smashed two Godly pumpkins together creating a Godly, "BIG BANG" sound. Godly pumpkin chunks of varying size and pumpkin seeds exploded in all directions germinating a Godly space called the Universe. One of those Godly chunks, (where we live now) traveled in a damp, musty orbit causing fungi and mold to grow on its Godly surface. "It" touched the Godly chunk, drew back its Godly feeler and said, "Aaaaah crap," and never attempted to touch the growths again. This was the beginning and the end of intelligent design.
From there, still under the watchful discontent of "It", natural selection steered life with mutation upon mutation, some of which were beneficially strong and adaptable; others proved to be worthlessly week duds and were subjectively discarded with a "spit-tu-ee" sound from aggravated "It".
Fast forward a few billion years to 11/7/06 and we see the more recent political and human mutations. The control of our country mutated from the strength of conservatives to the weakness of the Democrat Party, now under the worthless, non-guidance of mutant duds Nancy Polosi and Harry Reed.
I'll Admit I'm not really sure about the smashing of Godly pumpkins, germinating space, musty fungi and mold, but I'm almost positive that a discontented "It" is still out there somewhere. If so, I think we're going to hear a discarding "spit-tu-ee" sound, because it's not nice to aggravate "It" with deceitful, double-talking bullshit.
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