"The War Against Christmas II - Save The 'UNDOCUMENTED' Holiday"
by Bucktowndusty
Last year, in my 111th article, I wrote about my own efforts to fight the War Against Christmas through my purchase of hundreds of Christmas stamps. Persuaded by vdare.com's concerns that The United States Postal Service failed to issue new Christmas stamps this year, I decided to gather information from our postal bureaucrats that is more illuminating than ever.
Using the USPS stamp fulfillment service number of 1-800-275-8777, I was greeted with a thank-you-for-calling message and instructions in Spanish to press 2 for Spanish. Frustrated but not dissuaded by such a blatant example of how undocumented illegal aliens do indeed spawn documented illustrations of their presence, influence, and un-assimilation, I continued to listen for more options. I was quite surprised when I realized that our own government has now displaced real American workers with a voice recognition system that allows a computer to understand human requests. After saying, "more options," "buy stamps," then, "yes," to confirm my request, I pressed 1 to buy stamps, then pressed 2 to speak to a real human.
My goal in asking questions, human to human, was to confirm the obvious; the USPS doesn't want to print more Christmas stamps because they fear offending a vocal minority. The woman I spoke to said she wasn't sure if more Christmas stamps would be printed, even though their current supply was dismally low. Multiculturalism and political correctness has such a firm grip on our bureaucrats that the post office doesn't even want to display Christmas stamps in plain site. Customers must ask for the Christmas stamps, at which point employees retrieve them from boxes hidden behind the counter. Hanakkah, Kwanzaa, and secular holiday stamps(which they've printed over 2 billion of, by the way) are everywhere.
The following information I gathered from the USPS website only confirms the bias and validates my thesis:
(Update: site no longer exists. I guess the truth is too damning to keep up. You'll have to go here to order the new stamp.)
| |
Christmas |
Hanukkah |
Kwanza |
| Item #: |
67340 |
566600 |
566500 |
| # Printed: |
776,400,000 |
60,000,000 |
60,000,000 |
| # Sold: |
776,352,133 |
59,985,250 |
59,985,973 |
| # Unsold: |
47,876 |
14,750 |
14,027 |
| % Sold: |
99.993835 |
99.975417 |
99.976622 |
| Sales: |
$287,250,289.21 |
$ 22,194,542.50 |
$22,194,810.01 |
The "% sold" figures might lead one to believe that the Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa stamps were equally successful stamps. However, the Christmas stamp produced 647% more revenue than the Kwanzaa and Hanukkah stamps combined. Think of this statistic another way; if allowed to fester unchallenged, political correctness and multiculturalism would lead to the abolishment of all Christmas stamps, depriving the postal service of $287,250,289.21 worth of revenue. In other words, embracing Christians instead of ignoring them is 647% more profitable.
Numbers don't lie folks. As with the fight against illegal immigration, fighting this war on Christmas is crucial if we are ever going to save our culture and educate our bureaucrats to the financial perils of their idiotic ways.
Join me in contacting the USPS to voice your displeasure.
Don't be a passive reader! Tell me what you think! Do you AGREE or DISAGREE with me? Let me know, and while you're at it, if you want me to write about something, let me know that, too! |
"I'll Eat My Hat"
by A. Hamilton
PETA is an acronym for "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals." Couldn't this group have changed just one word in their charter so they wouldn't be called a group of PETAS? Oh well, if the shoe fits, wear it.
This week, on Fox's Hannity and Colmes, a spokesperson for PETA, Bruce Friedrich, spun PETA's purpose and objectives for distributing comic books to children proclaiming, "Your Mommy and Daddy are killers." He warned kids to keep their puppies and kittens hidden from Daddy because Daddy is "hooked on killing," as he segued to the horrors of being a fish.
Mr. Friedrich spouts that there is scientific proof that fish feel pain the same as dogs and cats do, an implication that fish have intellect. I'll bet Mr. Friedrich didn't give a damn about "Raymond," the flat nosed goldfish he had when he was a kid. Raymond was flat nosed from bumping into the glass of the ten-inch oval fish bowl prison Mr. Freidrich provided him. All of this meaningless stupidity is because PETA wants all humans to be vegetarians.
Most vegetarians, or herbivores, are losers when it comes to their position on the food chain. Herbivores must learn to run fast or become a real meal deal; unfortunately, most of them don't. Herbivores have dull, grinding teeth for grinding grass and flat hoofed feet fit for standing in mud, a configuration not proficient enough for winning a bout with a saber toothed tiger that has razor sharp claws. Mr. Friedrich should wake up and smell the meat and understand that the prime reason why humans reign superior on this planet is that we can kill every other living thing. Life is cruel and vicious, especially in the world outside of humanity.
To examine in graphical langue, a grasshopper climbs up a succulent blade of grass laden with morning due where he enjoys an herbivore's delight. Suddenly, a sparrow swoops and rips Mr. Hopper from the blade of grass. In turn, a sparrow hawk shreds the sparrow in mid flight. Then, the windshield of a Buick hits the sparrow hawk; the hawk falls to the road where an opossum separates the feathers from the meaty inners. As misfortune would have it, the opossum becomes road kill by the returning Buick, and although there are not many Buicks on the bottom of the ocean, I can tell you first hand that aqua land is not a place where fish have picnics.
As far as eating plants is concerned, I'd like to point out a few scientific facts of my own to Mr. Friedrich.
Plants have intellect and feelings, too. It is well know that similar plants communicate with each other through their roots. Once, horde of moths attacked a stand of trees. The moths devoured the first tree in the row of trees, but could only do the same with about half of the next tree before dropping dead. The trees communicated with each other and quickly developed a lethal acid that killed the moths.
In another case, there is a flower called the "Stool Lily" (I forget its formal name, but it sounds like a list of college fraternities that are invited to a block party). The stool lily attracts bees to a portion of the lily that is shaped like a bucket filled half way with enticing nectar. The glutinous bees push each other until one on them falls into the bucket. In an attempt to climb out the bucket, the bee struggles in the nectar until he comes upon a bump (stool) in a strategic place in the bottom of the bucket. With the aid of the stool, he climbs out of the bucket but is led through a tube in the lily. Here, the lily clamps down on the bee and glues a pod of pollen to his back. But wait!! The lily doesn't let the bee go until the bee's wings are dry enough for him to fly away. In the case of a bee falling into the bucket that already has a pollen pod glued to his back - the lily will remove the pod for pollination. But wait!! The lily still won't release the bee until his wings are dry enough for him to fly away.
Now! If Mr. Friedrich can show me a flounder that can do that - then I'll just eat my hat.
Don't be a passive reader! Tell me what you think! Do you AGREE or DISAGREE with me? Let me know, and while you're at it, if you want me to write about something, let me know that, too!
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